long time no post

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Yay pragmatism!

Here's a little quick post just illustrating my own hypocrisy, or I guess you could call it a change in attitude over the course of time.

I wrote this little stub a long while ago (Not quite sure when, blogger software only keeps one date for drafts: the date last viewed.)

"Entrepreneurshit"


This  is what set me off.

Yes. That is what a real education is. How to bullshit people and get away with it. How to take something that has no value, convince people that it has value and to pay you for it. Fuck trying to find out what things in life are truly valuable. All you really need to do is convince people that you are valuable. 

Thanks for telling us all about your wonderful college experiences Scott. That was so cool how you got people to think that you were taking their opinions into account, but really weren't, when you were writing their "constitution." They were dumb enough or didn't care enough to call you out on it, so who cares? At least you're making money on it. You're being efficient. 

Now, here's another more recent stub: 

Smart people go to jobs that will make them money, and improve those companies, which in turn attracts more smart people, feedback loop

that could be broken by putting more money into important industries that need more help, like education, science and the arts

hell, maybe it's our education that's the problem, teaching us to care about stuff that won't be useful in 90% of the jobs we might hold

Notice especially the last bit there. Haha. 

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR POST IS ABOUT!!!!

This is kind of a repost, as I wrote it on facebook, but I'm very proud of it and I got a lot of positive feedback.

My friend from college Drew Gorham was originally a music major, and he changed over to philosophy, and on his wall he posted on of those "photo/caption" chain letter things that are big right now: here.

Here is my response:

"I consider myself spiritual and somewhat religious, and I don't claim to be a very good scientist, but I am sorry to see scientific beliefs twisted and condemned in a story like this. 


I certainly think the story provides comfort, but mostly because of the reasons expressed by Sumair here. I think that the story is bastardizing logic and reason in order to tell a story. As long as you view it as a story and not a proof, I don't think it is very offensive or dangerous, but it is assumed that many people will take it as a scientific proof of the validity of faith, which is a dangerous misconception, and a sorry facsimile of the true power of logic and reason.

The world is a very uncertain place, and people will go through all kinds of effort to find some mental and emotional certainty. I see the crux of science being a devotion to a remembrance of our inherent fallibility, that the most reliable truth is found only through intense scrutiny, through observation and experimentation.


Also, I have found that using Wikiquote and Snopes is a really good idea when dealing with quotes or stories attributed to universally admired figures. A lot of the time, people like to reinforce the perceived clout of their worldviews by projecting them onto those figures, and the emotionally positive association will bleed over from the figure to the worldview."

I am also really stoked about a economic discussion that I started on my timeline by asking people who study economics if lowering federal taxes has been shown to increase economic growth. Unfortunately I didn't understand all of it, but it did reanimate my memories of economics class, which is good. Also it's cool to see two people from totally different parts of my life talk to each other.  

CM Punk "Best in the World" (who is also Straightedge) putting the elbow drop on Mark Henry "The World's Strongest Man" (He actually won the World's Strongest Man competion)

So I don't know if all of you know this, but I've developed a taste for Pro Wrestling, thanks to my roommate and very good friend Odie. Now, in intellectual circles, Wrestling has a bad rap, almost as bad as organized religion. "Don't you know it's fake?" is what Odie often gets asked, and his answer is usually an Irish Whip into a clothesline followed by a moonsault from the top rope. Haha I'm kidding (Odie does like to wrestle, however, and he knows the name of every move...I mean literally every move...) But I have come to enjoy it somewhat and I have some thoughts about it. 

What people usually mean by "fake" is one of two things: that the outcomes of the matches are scripted, or that the combat is staged, both of which are true. Odie tells me that "plots" of the season of wrestling are written sometimes years in advance. The wrestling itself takes great strength and skill, but also involves stage combat techniques that give the impression of a "real" fight. I must point out however, that people who have done intense stage combat can attest that it is not as far removed from actual fighting as one might think. Then again, I've never really been in any real fights so I can't say much to the comparison. But it is dangerous, and people do get hurt, but it looks a lot more dangerous and painful than it is. 

Because what wrestling presents itself as is different from what it "really" is, watching wrestling requires suspension of disbelief, much like you would suspend your disbelief for a play or a television show. The reason I think people feel jilted is that at first glance, pro wrestling most closely resembles a traditional sport, and in traditional sports, a huge part of the appeal is that nobody knows which team will win. In baseball, basketball, fencing, and chess, who will win depends primarily on the skill of the players, and no punches are pulled, so to speak, as the players from opposing teams compete. 

The truth is that pro wrestling is I would say half sport, half entertainment. It is a hybrid, it has aspects of both genres. 

There's a little infographic for you, not in color cause I don't know how to do that easily. Most of the stuff in there is fairly obvious. 

Something I didn't have room to add but I think is worth noting, is that Traditional Sports and Pro Wrestling both have long histories to them. Wikipedia tells me that pro wrestling goes back to the 19th century. Also I'm seeing that Wikipedia has lots more info about pro wrestling than I post here. 

So back to the question, "Don't you know that it's fake?" To that, I offer another question: would you ask someone watching a play if they knew it was fake? The appeal of wrestling comes partly from the fact that it imitates "real" sports, but also largely from the intensified dramatics. Baseball players get to choose what music gets played when they come to the plate, but in Pro Wrestling each "superstar" as they call them has an elaborate, specific entrance involving gestures, pyrotechnics, video graphics on giant screens, catchphrases, etc. that can last up to five minutes. We usually get a very limited glimpse into an athlete's "off-field" life and interactions with other competitors, whereas in wrestling we stop the entire proceedings just to have a backstage interaction played out on the jumbotron. In a way, pro wrestling has more in common with Dragonball Z than it does with "real" wrestling. 

So what's the appeal of wrestling, anyways? I think it really comes down to the phenomenon of a streaker jumping onto the field at a baseball game. He gleefully sprints his way around, dodging the officials, and the crowd cheers. Why does the crowd sometimes cheer for him? Shouldn't they all be annoyed that he's interrupting the game as it's meant to be played? The fact is that sometimes people need to see the rules being broken, as kind of a cathartic, vicarious experience. I think it's healthy sometimes. Pro wrestling does a great job of creating the illusion of breaking rules and going extreme, when in fact they wrote the rules and are allowing them to be broken. 

Both sport and entertainment have been given noble stature over the ages- sport is said to embody the virtues of self-improvement, commitment, and discipline. Entertainment is said to enlighten, to move, to communicate. Pro Wrestling is kind of a bastard child of the two, and as such is viewed as a half-assed version of either: how can the spirit of competition be there if it's scripted, and how can enlightenment and communication be there if characterization and plot are simplified? 

I don't really know what the answer is to that. I'm not a huge fan of wrestling, but after a period of adjustment I'm able to enjoy it to a certain extent. I would say that despite its perceived lack of integrity, it does have value. It does require a high level of skill and discipline, and the superstars have to be excellent entertainers as well as athletes. The stories deal with basic themes such as betrayal, revenge, idealism, narcissism, cruelty, and love, even sometimes touching on harder issues such as alcoholism. It is multicultural, showcasing athletes from all over the world and including cultural aspects of their nations. People from all over the world and all walks of life enjoy it.

Now to bring this full circle, in my facebook post above I mentioned the danger of taking something at face value and believing it wholeheartedly, when in reality it doesn't hold water. I would say that it's really hard for me to enjoy pro wrestling while remembering all the time that it is scripted. Is it dangerous to have such a misleading thing as pro wrestling be "believed" in? Well it certainly doesn't help out the more gullible parts of us, but I don't think it's that dangerous. However, I think it would be true to say that modern American society could use a good booster shot of skepticism. With so much of our culture tied up in television and movies, we need to be able to think for ourselves. With so much money and power being used to convince people of things, and comparatively little being spent to figure out what things are worth convincing people of, we could get into trouble.  

It probably didn't need the analysis. But being out of school, I have to flex my academic brain somehow.   

See below for hyperbole

This.

Seriously, David Fucking Wong is the second coming of fucking Jonathan Swift. And he's writing in one of the pulpiest, low-brow places on the internet.

I just read this article and he described to me almost EXACTLY how I feel- this one article is more insightful than anything I have ever read or heard about gender relations, including from psychiatrists, psychologists, and professors.

Truly there is hope for the world if someone can realize what is going on, and communicate it in this way.

Granted, there is little chance of this article going "viral," which is a shame because it deserves to be.

How the media "market" decides what gets the priority to be communicated, usually mostly has to deal with what will get the most views, therefore the most money for the company. I'm tempted to say that in the modern media, truly useful and insightful public communication is rarer than it used to be, but reasonably it probably hasn't changed a whole lot.


****NOTE****

The article is kind of biologically reductionist, which means that is seems to trace all behaviors to biological causes; that is, the "nature" part of "nature versus nurture." I can't tell if that's part of the author being satirical or if it's just his point of view.

One of the commenters said that in his opinion, "The overwhelming power of the male sex drive is purely socialized," which would be the opposite end of the spectrum, "nurture" instead of "nature."

In MY opinion, the reality is probably a combination of the two, the mixture of which depends on the individual and circumstances.

"According to George Lucas, the design is inspired by a hamburger..."

Just this past week, two of my favorite artists died: Ralph McQuarrie, and Jean Giraud, also known as "Moebius."

Ralph McQuarrie I first got into when Star Wars had captured my imagination. I was listening to the soundtracks over and over on my walkman. I got a couple used books: "Inside the Lucasfilm Archives" and a "making of" book about Episode 1. The Lucasfilm Archives book had photos of some early concept art work for Episodes 4, 5, and 6, including many paintings by Ralph McQuarrie. I later discovered that Ralph McQuarrie was one of the first people George Lucas hired to develop his film, and that Ralph's paintings were key in getting 20th Century Fox to produce the film. Ralph originated the designs for R2-D2 and C-3P0, Darth Vader, Stormtroopers, and many others. Some of his production paintings were copied almost exactly as shots in the films.

The drawings themselves were colorful and exciting. They fascinated me by their mix of the familiar and unfamiliar, that is, in each piece you found both aspects that were key to the "final" version, and those that were scrapped along the way.

Of course, being a fanboy, it was really fun to speculate about alternate versions of iconic designs. "Would if the Millenium Falcon had looked like this? Would if Darth Vader's helmet had these original lines to it?" It excited me that such seemingly trivial decisions had shaped icons that would become recognizable the world over. I thought, how awesome would it be, if I drew something that was made into a film, that little kids would get toys of for christmas? That entire generations would recognize in a millisecond? I guess I've always had some lust for fame. Then again, I would probably be just as happy to draw something, and have someone look at it, and say "Wow, that's cool!"

I was kind of wrapped up in my own head at that age, and often times while riding my bike I would pretend that I was flying on some kind of speeder, like in Return of the Jedi. It was fun, but later I would come to regret somewhat having been so inroverted...I came to realize that personal relationships were essential to any real enjoyment in life, and that you need to invest in them.

The "Making of" book for Episode 1 also included lots of concept art. The artist that stood out most to me was Doug Chiang. I even spent some time on his studio website on the computer during high school.

As I got inspired, I got into sketching myself. I thought maybe I would become a concept artist when I grew up.

Jean Giraud I didn't get quite as into directly, and to be honest I'm not a huge fanboy, I'm bandwagoning a little bit with the fact that he just recently died. But the little that I have read of him has stayed with me, and I considered it very personal. While spending time on a Comics message board, I stumbled across a digital copy of his story "The Goddess," and read it all in one sitting. The spiritual themes and fantastic setting struck me, and I began to research who it was who had written it, at which point I discovered Moebius and his huge influence of science fiction and fantasy in the 20th century. He worked on "The Fifth Element," which is one of my all time favorite movies, both for its visual style and its message. He worked with H. R. Gieger on "Alien," and was concept artist and writer for "Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland" which I had seen a few years before and scared the heck out of me, but still had a bizzare fantastic feel that appealed to me. Jean Giraud also was behind the design of the probe droid that landed on Hoth in "Empire Strikes Back."

Just last night I went ahead and read his story "Le Garage Hermetique," which was just as mind blowing as I remembered the other story was.

To me, Jean Giraud's work is a great example of the philosophy that stories are a way for us to "dream while we are awake." What's interesting about dreams is that they are often bizarre and lack any "real world" logic to them, yet they can still be emotionally profound, and sometimes even help create insight. I believe that this fact should remind us that a good story need not be fanatically devoted to "reality" in order to be compelling.

Through theatrical and film history, there has been a tug-of-war in storytelling between trying to mimic reality, and trying to use more abstract means to communicate. Certainly which tools you use depends on your audience and the type of story you are trying to tell, as well upon your skill as an artist.

I was going to say that art that mimics reality faces a grave danger of bogging down in that attempt, but I think at this point I'm mostly projecting my internal struggles with what I value, and what I think I "should" value. I'm trained as an artist, and I really enjoy it, but sometimes I'm disappointed with how little my work seems to mean.

Sometimes it seems to me that science is the only worthwhile pursuit, because the biggest changes in our world have all come from science, have they not? How else besides with science can a society achieve "progress?" You don't really need culture, even the most monumental of cultural achievements are ultimately a sideshow, an escape.

But then again, art does provide a means to learn about ourselves. And I think that learning more about ourselves is important. Art is good for that, at least until the mysteries of the human brain are deciphered, at which point art will become obsolete.

(the final paragraph is from an earlier draft of this post, which is why it doesn't connect super well to the rest of it.)

We all have needs, both physical and non-physical, and they are not always able to be met. We fill needs in other's lives, we use others to fill our needs. We rely on each other. We rely on the thousands and thousands of people who work in our society, for the electricity to run, for the stores to open. And we rely on musicians and artists to create things that speak to us in ways that nothing else will. Society is like a massive beast, with thousands of eyes, ears, arms, mouths, and fingers. Unlike our individual bodies, this large body has only had a few thousand years to develop and refine itself. The "self" of society is like a newborn baby, wailing in pain and flinging its arms about in desperation. Over time, and through much sacrifice, it has developed and changed, and it is learning who it is, and where it belongs. With the perseverance, inspiration and beautiful acts of its members, it will continue to do so, and grow into its beauty.

*    *    *    *

Some more art:

Jean Giraud:

 Ralph McQuarrie:

Doug Chiang:

I'm a 6'4" black man who is totally ripped, with an afro and the word "THUG" tattooed in gothic letters on my chest.

About time I posted here again.

I'm working for my cousin Carolyn, with her company PrizmEyez! Basically I'm helping her with Shipping. She has a day job at Wells Fargo, but has a lot of shipping to do for PrizmEyez, and I'm helping her get more packages out faster, and she's going to pay me as well!

What's kind of bizarre, is that I closed Broadway Bound a week ago, and I don't have another show going on. All I have is dance class, and job hunting...it's actually really nice. I was just telling Carolyn: making progress on my top priority (getting a job) has made all the other stuff in my life so much more enjoyable. Because I can't ever really relax unless I know that I've done my work for the day...and if I feel like I have accomplished enough, the fun stuff I do is that much more fun.

I went and saw The Light in the Piazza at the Willows in Concord on Friday night. Brought back great memories from when I was in Chess in that theater. Also lots of good memories of seeing plays there with family, which we did each Christmas for a while when I was younger. Saw a lot of old friends. I enjoyed the play immensely.

Cast info: willowstheatre.org. Directed by Eric Inman. Excellent Lighting Design by Danny Maher, Props by Shaun Carroll, Costume Design by Sharon Bell. I couldn't find a Set Design/Construction credit in the program!! WTF?

With me, if the play is good, I get way into it, there's no looking back. Once I get past the first ten, fifteen minutes, I'm hooked, and even when I know the performers, I see them only as their characters. I start to fill in the cracks in the set with my own experiences and sensory memories— kind of like what you do when you're reading a book. It's really like nothing else. I'm glad I get to see plays every once in a while, and I remember how much I love them. Seeing plays also helps remind me what the audience's experience is like, and how forgiving they can be, especially if the costumes and set and lights are seamless. That's a good thing to remind myself of, considering how self-critical I can be when I'm onstage.

Odie's been staying at my place for the past couple weeks while he found some new jobs, and it's been quite fun having him around. Not to say it's been all smooth, I've been living by myself for almost two years, and I'd gotten very used to it. We've butted heads some, I've annoyed him, and he's teaching me pro wrestling moves. We even ran around Lake Merrit with duffel bags full of clothes, cause he and I wanted to get in shape to do the Tough Mudder in Septemeber. Then Odie had a full schedule because of job hunting, then he got sick, but we may get back into working out pretty soon here.

Odie and I also rearranged the living room, and got a TV and a wireless router, so I finally can have guests use the internet without having to unplug my internet and restart the cable box every time. Also I don't have to have a network cable running under my door from the living room. We called the router "mos eisley cantina" and have nicknamed our TV the Millenium Falcon, cause it's "a piece of junk" but it still works fine. Seriously, it was literally falling apart in our hands as we lugged it up the stairs to my apartment. But it was free, so what the heck. Also I didn't realize that you shouldn't carry a heavy-ass old CRT TV from the back, because the whole plastic casing will break off...


Whatever, now I have a TV in my living room! We watched movies! It was great. Also Odie brought his Xbox, and we played WWF '12. Did I mention Odie likes Pro Wrestling? He even made me a custom character in the game. Here is a picture:

Hahaha. yeah.

We also made a little video entry to a contest for "Broski of the Week," part of the publicity for Zack Ryder,  one of the wrestlers Odie likes. We didn't win the contest, but it was still fun.

Another great thing: went to Dr. Comics in Piedmont, got a Red Lantern ring and a little Star Trek Heroclix figure. I don't play the game, I just like Star Trek spaceships. It was a great store though, I'll definitely be back for more cool swag.

In other news, I had lunch a couple weeks ago with the friend I mentioned earlier who works for Ubisoft. It was interesting. We chatted a little about video games, he asked me what my career goals were... he told me about his artistic aspirations, and how he tries to pursue them in the little free time he has, between his intense job and his girlfriend. He is trained as a painter, and he paints and sculpts designer toys. I would share his online store, if I knew where it was. Looks like we might meet up again this month. 


He's really passionate about art, but he also likes having a job that pays the bills... it's a conflict that I'm somewhat familiar with, but I've always been on the flip side of his situation: whereas he's trying to squeeze in artistically enriching activities around his good job, I've been trying to squeeze in a good job around my artistically enriching activities.

I had a really emotional session with my therapist last Wednesday... about a month ago, he told me that he's going on an open-ended sabbatical on April 1, so I may not see him at all after that. I was kind of upset when he told me, but I didn't really realize how much it hit me until weeks later. It was a whole mix of things: sad that he was leaving, feeling a little betrayed that he was leaving, worrying that it was something I did wrong, or that he was tired of me, all sorts of stuff that you'd think would happen when a really close friend or a significant other was parting... I guess I didn't realize how much our work together meant to me...I've seen him for almost a year and a half now, and we've worked really well together...it's absolutely AMAZING how far I've come since I first started seeing him. I really got used to having his support every week or so...and now he's leaving...

I'll miss him. I may find someone else, and he even suggested a couple people he knows that he thinks would be good. Therapists are a funny thing: you tell them things you wouldn't tell your closest friends, and yet they are still detached from you in a sense, as a doctor is...

He reminded me that therapy is not like a college course: you don't work on it for a while, then suddenly have it all down and never go back to it again. People come and go from therapy as their life requires. I guess I'll always have that option. Unless of course I run out of money, lol.


...


I've noticed lately that I'm not reading any books, and it kind of bothers me. I started reading one of the numerous paperbacks I have on my shelves that was a gift, that I've never opened. I read the first chapter, and now it's back on the shelf, with a bookmark in it.

We'll see if I go back to it.

...

Friday night I had a "Cigars and Scotch" get-together with my friend Christine, and my friend Zac, who I performed with in Chess and Broadway Bound, (and with whom I will perform in Vaudeville at the Willows in June). Zac brought 12 year old Macallen, and a cigar he had, and I smoked one of the cigars I bought in 2009 in the Duty Free store in the Shanghai airport. It was great.

I wouldn't even be a cigar smoker, but one of my very good friends in college, Brad, once sat with me and drank whiskey and showed me how to smoke a cigar...and then I had a cigar at a cast party for a great show I was in, in 2010, and then my friend Greg smokes cigars and I've smoked with him... I guess I've gotten into it like I got into beer: I associate it with celebration and good company. Hopefully these little indulgences won't come back to haunt my respiratory health later in life.

Well there you go. Talk to you later!
~Chris

But can Krogans tap dance?

Song of the moment.

So, a belated happy Valentine's Day to you. Or Singles Awareness Day, as they say. I kinda tried to ask a girl to lunch Tuesday afternoon, but she turned me down, albeit very nicely.

I've been having a lot of fun in dance class! I don't know what I mentioned before, but I'm taking Beginning Tap, and Ballet Fundamentals. Not only is it fun and a good way to get a little exercise, but it's good training for me as an actor. To paraphrase what a friend of mine said, if you want to make a living as a theater actor,

1. Be male
2. Be a singer
3. Be a dancer

...the equivalent list for film includes #2: be handsome as f@ck

I got #1 down, and #2 sort of, and so I'm working on #3. Obviously left out there is being good at the actual acting, but the point is that you'll get WAYYY more work if you are versatile. And I think the reason for #1 is that there are more women trying to get into theater than men. I'm not sure if that applies to film acting as well.

Anyways, there's about thirty people in Tap, and 25 people in Ballet. Tap dance is interesting because it has the whole "tapping" aspect to it, basically turning your feet into percussion instruments. The product of Tap is visual and largely auditory, whereas Ballet is almost entirely a visual thing.

Then again, both Tap and Ballet usually have music behind them, so I suppose they are both auditory and visual. Ballet also has reams of music written specifically for it. Music and Dance are deeply connected. I imagine that their nature is akin to the relationship between magnetism and electricity— seemingly separate phenomena, but in reality deeply connected.*





Of course in Tap dance you have to keep on the beat, since you're playing a song, in a sense. I have a very good sense of rhythm (if I do say so myself) which helps a bit, but it can get me into trouble: for example, sometimes I'll get the sounds right but not the steps, since a lot of different steps make the same sounds (my right heel sounds the same as my left)

Now to Mass Effect 3, whose demo just came out the other day. I was watching this preview, and it pointed out something interesting: in response to player feedback regarding the tweaks they made to gameplay in the first two games, they implemented all the gameplay styles, and let you choose!

This just blew my mind, because it starts to break down the "genre" aspect that people often use to define video games.

When you think about it, the idea of taking a fictional world and letting people choose how to interact with it is already a thing, dating back to the 17th century when people wrote Opera treatments of famous plays. The next steps it could take might be interesting, however. Imagine, a big new story is coming out, and as a consumer/viewer/player, you could choose along a sliding scale, how interactive you want your experience of that story to be: all the way from completely passive (as a movie) to completely interactive (as a hugely in-depth video game, like EVA Online).

How about a world where "directing," like a movie director, is crowdsourced: the most entertaining playthroughs of interactive stories will be bought and sold like movies. This would be like an extension of watching gameplay videos on youtube. Obviously, the visual presentation for the viewer would have to be different from that of the player. VIRTUAL CAMERAMEN FILMING PRO GAMING TOURNAMENTS!!!

Whew! Freaked out a bit there.

Anyways...

What really interests me, however, is how to make an interactive story as moving and meaningful as a play or movie**. It may turn out that this is impossible. But I think it might be possible, and when it starts happening, I want to be there.

Here's one idea for the next level of artistic experience: theme parks and installation art have shown that the only thing more powerful than watching movies is feeling like you're in one. The amount of talent, time and effort that it takes to tailor a physical space is huge, but I think the potential for moving experiences in such a specifically designed environment is immense. And if you could combine that with interactivity, that would be really something.

I dunno why I got so excited there about virtual everything. It may not be that big of a deal. After all, we already have tons of intense, interactive, emotionally moving, meaningful experiences available in the real world. And the invention of new entertainment technology, from written language to new musical instruments to painting to photography to film to video games, has really only made us fancier toys to play with. The idea that as we invent new tools we are advancing, may not actually be true.


I guess we'll just have to see.  





*Extra points for using a science metaphor to describe the arts? Or minus points for oversimplifying a scientific concept to messily describe something unrelated? (Not to the Deepak Chopra level, hopefully)


**The main reason behind this interest is my repressed need for fame and popularity. I don't always realize that's the reason. Being in a show and having the crowd clap does sate this need quite well, to be honest.