I'm a 6'4" black man who is totally ripped, with an afro and the word "THUG" tattooed in gothic letters on my chest.

About time I posted here again.

I'm working for my cousin Carolyn, with her company PrizmEyez! Basically I'm helping her with Shipping. She has a day job at Wells Fargo, but has a lot of shipping to do for PrizmEyez, and I'm helping her get more packages out faster, and she's going to pay me as well!

What's kind of bizarre, is that I closed Broadway Bound a week ago, and I don't have another show going on. All I have is dance class, and job hunting...it's actually really nice. I was just telling Carolyn: making progress on my top priority (getting a job) has made all the other stuff in my life so much more enjoyable. Because I can't ever really relax unless I know that I've done my work for the day...and if I feel like I have accomplished enough, the fun stuff I do is that much more fun.

I went and saw The Light in the Piazza at the Willows in Concord on Friday night. Brought back great memories from when I was in Chess in that theater. Also lots of good memories of seeing plays there with family, which we did each Christmas for a while when I was younger. Saw a lot of old friends. I enjoyed the play immensely.

Cast info: willowstheatre.org. Directed by Eric Inman. Excellent Lighting Design by Danny Maher, Props by Shaun Carroll, Costume Design by Sharon Bell. I couldn't find a Set Design/Construction credit in the program!! WTF?

With me, if the play is good, I get way into it, there's no looking back. Once I get past the first ten, fifteen minutes, I'm hooked, and even when I know the performers, I see them only as their characters. I start to fill in the cracks in the set with my own experiences and sensory memories— kind of like what you do when you're reading a book. It's really like nothing else. I'm glad I get to see plays every once in a while, and I remember how much I love them. Seeing plays also helps remind me what the audience's experience is like, and how forgiving they can be, especially if the costumes and set and lights are seamless. That's a good thing to remind myself of, considering how self-critical I can be when I'm onstage.

Odie's been staying at my place for the past couple weeks while he found some new jobs, and it's been quite fun having him around. Not to say it's been all smooth, I've been living by myself for almost two years, and I'd gotten very used to it. We've butted heads some, I've annoyed him, and he's teaching me pro wrestling moves. We even ran around Lake Merrit with duffel bags full of clothes, cause he and I wanted to get in shape to do the Tough Mudder in Septemeber. Then Odie had a full schedule because of job hunting, then he got sick, but we may get back into working out pretty soon here.

Odie and I also rearranged the living room, and got a TV and a wireless router, so I finally can have guests use the internet without having to unplug my internet and restart the cable box every time. Also I don't have to have a network cable running under my door from the living room. We called the router "mos eisley cantina" and have nicknamed our TV the Millenium Falcon, cause it's "a piece of junk" but it still works fine. Seriously, it was literally falling apart in our hands as we lugged it up the stairs to my apartment. But it was free, so what the heck. Also I didn't realize that you shouldn't carry a heavy-ass old CRT TV from the back, because the whole plastic casing will break off...


Whatever, now I have a TV in my living room! We watched movies! It was great. Also Odie brought his Xbox, and we played WWF '12. Did I mention Odie likes Pro Wrestling? He even made me a custom character in the game. Here is a picture:

Hahaha. yeah.

We also made a little video entry to a contest for "Broski of the Week," part of the publicity for Zack Ryder,  one of the wrestlers Odie likes. We didn't win the contest, but it was still fun.

Another great thing: went to Dr. Comics in Piedmont, got a Red Lantern ring and a little Star Trek Heroclix figure. I don't play the game, I just like Star Trek spaceships. It was a great store though, I'll definitely be back for more cool swag.

In other news, I had lunch a couple weeks ago with the friend I mentioned earlier who works for Ubisoft. It was interesting. We chatted a little about video games, he asked me what my career goals were... he told me about his artistic aspirations, and how he tries to pursue them in the little free time he has, between his intense job and his girlfriend. He is trained as a painter, and he paints and sculpts designer toys. I would share his online store, if I knew where it was. Looks like we might meet up again this month. 


He's really passionate about art, but he also likes having a job that pays the bills... it's a conflict that I'm somewhat familiar with, but I've always been on the flip side of his situation: whereas he's trying to squeeze in artistically enriching activities around his good job, I've been trying to squeeze in a good job around my artistically enriching activities.

I had a really emotional session with my therapist last Wednesday... about a month ago, he told me that he's going on an open-ended sabbatical on April 1, so I may not see him at all after that. I was kind of upset when he told me, but I didn't really realize how much it hit me until weeks later. It was a whole mix of things: sad that he was leaving, feeling a little betrayed that he was leaving, worrying that it was something I did wrong, or that he was tired of me, all sorts of stuff that you'd think would happen when a really close friend or a significant other was parting... I guess I didn't realize how much our work together meant to me...I've seen him for almost a year and a half now, and we've worked really well together...it's absolutely AMAZING how far I've come since I first started seeing him. I really got used to having his support every week or so...and now he's leaving...

I'll miss him. I may find someone else, and he even suggested a couple people he knows that he thinks would be good. Therapists are a funny thing: you tell them things you wouldn't tell your closest friends, and yet they are still detached from you in a sense, as a doctor is...

He reminded me that therapy is not like a college course: you don't work on it for a while, then suddenly have it all down and never go back to it again. People come and go from therapy as their life requires. I guess I'll always have that option. Unless of course I run out of money, lol.


...


I've noticed lately that I'm not reading any books, and it kind of bothers me. I started reading one of the numerous paperbacks I have on my shelves that was a gift, that I've never opened. I read the first chapter, and now it's back on the shelf, with a bookmark in it.

We'll see if I go back to it.

...

Friday night I had a "Cigars and Scotch" get-together with my friend Christine, and my friend Zac, who I performed with in Chess and Broadway Bound, (and with whom I will perform in Vaudeville at the Willows in June). Zac brought 12 year old Macallen, and a cigar he had, and I smoked one of the cigars I bought in 2009 in the Duty Free store in the Shanghai airport. It was great.

I wouldn't even be a cigar smoker, but one of my very good friends in college, Brad, once sat with me and drank whiskey and showed me how to smoke a cigar...and then I had a cigar at a cast party for a great show I was in, in 2010, and then my friend Greg smokes cigars and I've smoked with him... I guess I've gotten into it like I got into beer: I associate it with celebration and good company. Hopefully these little indulgences won't come back to haunt my respiratory health later in life.

Well there you go. Talk to you later!
~Chris

But can Krogans tap dance?

Song of the moment.

So, a belated happy Valentine's Day to you. Or Singles Awareness Day, as they say. I kinda tried to ask a girl to lunch Tuesday afternoon, but she turned me down, albeit very nicely.

I've been having a lot of fun in dance class! I don't know what I mentioned before, but I'm taking Beginning Tap, and Ballet Fundamentals. Not only is it fun and a good way to get a little exercise, but it's good training for me as an actor. To paraphrase what a friend of mine said, if you want to make a living as a theater actor,

1. Be male
2. Be a singer
3. Be a dancer

...the equivalent list for film includes #2: be handsome as f@ck

I got #1 down, and #2 sort of, and so I'm working on #3. Obviously left out there is being good at the actual acting, but the point is that you'll get WAYYY more work if you are versatile. And I think the reason for #1 is that there are more women trying to get into theater than men. I'm not sure if that applies to film acting as well.

Anyways, there's about thirty people in Tap, and 25 people in Ballet. Tap dance is interesting because it has the whole "tapping" aspect to it, basically turning your feet into percussion instruments. The product of Tap is visual and largely auditory, whereas Ballet is almost entirely a visual thing.

Then again, both Tap and Ballet usually have music behind them, so I suppose they are both auditory and visual. Ballet also has reams of music written specifically for it. Music and Dance are deeply connected. I imagine that their nature is akin to the relationship between magnetism and electricity— seemingly separate phenomena, but in reality deeply connected.*





Of course in Tap dance you have to keep on the beat, since you're playing a song, in a sense. I have a very good sense of rhythm (if I do say so myself) which helps a bit, but it can get me into trouble: for example, sometimes I'll get the sounds right but not the steps, since a lot of different steps make the same sounds (my right heel sounds the same as my left)

Now to Mass Effect 3, whose demo just came out the other day. I was watching this preview, and it pointed out something interesting: in response to player feedback regarding the tweaks they made to gameplay in the first two games, they implemented all the gameplay styles, and let you choose!

This just blew my mind, because it starts to break down the "genre" aspect that people often use to define video games.

When you think about it, the idea of taking a fictional world and letting people choose how to interact with it is already a thing, dating back to the 17th century when people wrote Opera treatments of famous plays. The next steps it could take might be interesting, however. Imagine, a big new story is coming out, and as a consumer/viewer/player, you could choose along a sliding scale, how interactive you want your experience of that story to be: all the way from completely passive (as a movie) to completely interactive (as a hugely in-depth video game, like EVA Online).

How about a world where "directing," like a movie director, is crowdsourced: the most entertaining playthroughs of interactive stories will be bought and sold like movies. This would be like an extension of watching gameplay videos on youtube. Obviously, the visual presentation for the viewer would have to be different from that of the player. VIRTUAL CAMERAMEN FILMING PRO GAMING TOURNAMENTS!!!

Whew! Freaked out a bit there.

Anyways...

What really interests me, however, is how to make an interactive story as moving and meaningful as a play or movie**. It may turn out that this is impossible. But I think it might be possible, and when it starts happening, I want to be there.

Here's one idea for the next level of artistic experience: theme parks and installation art have shown that the only thing more powerful than watching movies is feeling like you're in one. The amount of talent, time and effort that it takes to tailor a physical space is huge, but I think the potential for moving experiences in such a specifically designed environment is immense. And if you could combine that with interactivity, that would be really something.

I dunno why I got so excited there about virtual everything. It may not be that big of a deal. After all, we already have tons of intense, interactive, emotionally moving, meaningful experiences available in the real world. And the invention of new entertainment technology, from written language to new musical instruments to painting to photography to film to video games, has really only made us fancier toys to play with. The idea that as we invent new tools we are advancing, may not actually be true.


I guess we'll just have to see.  





*Extra points for using a science metaphor to describe the arts? Or minus points for oversimplifying a scientific concept to messily describe something unrelated? (Not to the Deepak Chopra level, hopefully)


**The main reason behind this interest is my repressed need for fame and popularity. I don't always realize that's the reason. Being in a show and having the crowd clap does sate this need quite well, to be honest.

I can't wash my balls with a bar of SOPA

The following is a post I wrote a couple weeks ago, but didn't publish 'cause I wasn't sure if it made any sense. Tonight I read it again, fixed it up a bit, and I think it makes fine sense. NOW THE DECISION IS YOURS!!!
____

I'm trying to get to the bottom of this SOPA PIPA thing, after being intrigued by this, which seems to imply that the Anti-SOPA movement is not really a grassroots thing, that it's just two different types of huge corporations fighting one another.

When I heard that, I was like "well shit, am I really fighting the right fight here?" Because I tend to question and analyze a lot of stuff, especially political and news-related stuff.

So I wondered, does anyone have any data about the jobs and money lost to the media industry, that can scientifically show the link between piracy and job loss?

That question led me to this testimony document. I couldn't read it without getting pissed off. Logical fallacies, twisted words, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

Did any one of these people take a logic class? Reductio ad absurdum, Ad Hominem, Straw man arguments, etc. I read better supported arguments on 4chan*.

Now I must mention that I didn't take a logic class, and I am nowhere near as ruthless about analyzing things that I am less suspicious of.

Why do the supposedly intelligent and responsible people you would imagine be put on a Senate Committee let people bullshit all day in the most sacred halls of government? It's absolutely sickening.

It sounds to me like this is all just a goddamn game played between billionaires, about profit margins. The reason lower profit margins could threaten jobs, is because when profits fall, the lowest paid people will be the first to get the fucking axe. Companies don't care about their people. They care about money. And they hire people to convince everyone that they do care about people. The only reason life in America isn't shitty is that they know that if they did really fucked up things, we would get pissed off and take them down.

So it's the old rule of marginal changes, that we learned about in school: as long as you change things a little bit at a time, nobody will get pissed off enough to really stop the progress.

Okay.

Well that's enough of that. I've blown off some steam.

I may have said a little too much earlier. I don't have any direct evidence to support the assertion that corporations only care about money. When it comes down to it, corporations are just businesses, and businesses are just institutions made of people. And people usually care about each other. Then again, it's hard to care about people that you never meet, unless you present them as people.

Maybe it's just how the world works, you know? Maybe money and power can never be separated. Everyone needs money to get along, you know? Maybe the old "power corrupts" saying is literally true: no matter how hard you try, with power comes corruption.

Maybe the reason power and corruption come together is because the more power one has, the more strong the illusion of control is.

If something bad happens that you feel you have no control over, all you can do is get upset. But if something bad happens that you do feel you have control over, you try to fix it. The more power you have, the more unintended side effects your attempts to fix the problem will have. These will in turn cause more problems.

I just think of the last few times I've been really pissed off. Yesterday, for example, I had to drive to Sacramento from Lafayette, for an appointment. I was running a little late, but as I got onto the freeway, I realized I didn't have any cash for the bridge toll. "Oh shit, damnit," I thought, and I got irritated that I would be late. But what really pissed me off, was that I should have remembered that. Most of my frustration came not from the situation, but the fact that I felt I had control over it.

And what do I do when we feel indignant? I react by blaming everything but myself. "Stupid speed limit is gonna make me late," or "My stupid smart phone couldn't find an ATM fast enough." The smart phone one is another example of my sense of power making me indignant. So I start getting really sensitive about being wrong.

Here's another factor to consider, something that I think should be considered more: the national economy, which is directly related to the prosperity of millions of people, is a very complex system. I think that sometimes policymakers and other businessmen overestimate how much they understand these systems, and that lack of understanding creates unintended consequences.

Or maybe I just think it's complex 'cause I never took any advanced statistics or economics classes. But the big meltdown in 2008 doesn't give me the impression that everyone knew what they were doing.

____


There you have it. My opinion about it now is that I'm glad they shot it down, and I agree with the Obama administration's stance that legislation is needed, but it needs to be better than this. In the meantime, I'm going to try going totally legit as far as my media diet. I'm an artist myself, you know. Hell, since I'm an actor maybe I can at least write my Netflix bill off as a business expense.

~Chris

"Are you not entertained??!"

So today I had a great matinee of Broadway Bound. Good audience, too, around 55 people, even on Super Bowl Sunday!

I was especially pleased with my big fight scene with Pop, because Tim was really into it and I actually felt angry. The job you have as a performer changes as the show progresses from first read, to rehearsal, to opening, to closing. In this show, we've already performed it eight times, so we have it down pretty well. The challenge here is keeping it honest and fresh, and not switching into autopilot. 

The actors in the cast are all really good at finding new stuff, that is to say, discovering a new meaning or line reading that wasn't there before, and exploiting it to enhance the depth of the performance. Discoveries also help keep the material fresh for the performers.

Photos by Jerry Telfer. From Masquer's Midwinter 2012 newsletter. The other cast  members are Zac Shuman, Marylin Hughes, Timothy Beagley, Avi Jacobson, and Georgie Craig. Set by John Hull, Costumes by Marjorie Moore, Props by Jean Rose, Lighting by John Gourdine.

I really look forward to certain parts of the play that I have down really well. When everything is clicking, and the other actors are on the same groove, it's almost like meditating, because thoughts cease and there's only awareness and reaction. Usually the problem with me is I think a lot, even on stage, and I'm very proud of myself that I've gotten some zen moments in this production.

After the show I went over to Grandma's house to visit her and watch the second half of the Super Bowl. She just had her left ankle replaced, and she has to have it in a cast until around Easter. It's an interesting situation for Grandpa, who isn't super used to cooking and other things. He made us eggs Benedict for dinner. 

On the way over, I was listening to the radio, and the halftime show, and I was getting chills and choking up a little just listening to it. Nothing really gets to me like big events where there's a ton of people watching, I guess. I have always loved the dramatics that sports provide, and even when it's not my team, I still get pretty into it.  

In a way I think athletes are similar to actors, because of the nature of what they do: it involves intense practice and rehearsal, and the culmination of it is a spectacle with high stakes. Granted, performers and stage people are not in direct competition with one another. But they are fighting for things. They're fighting against the small attention spans and critical eyes of the audience, in order to give them a story that has meaning and is entertaining. They're fighting the inherent difficulties found in any collaborative art project, in order to deliver the playwrights' message as clearly as possible. Now that I think of it, entertainers are in a sense fighting each other for the attention and money of the viewers, but not in the direct way football teams do. 

the coin toss

Plays and Sports both have a unique ability to inspire. 

In a similar vein, I must add that I love stadium shows, especially the Olympics opening and closing ceremonies. I have very clear memories of every Opening ceremony performance I've seen. They're just so unique...in terms of artistic expression, scale, budget, or people involved. And of course the whole world is watching. 

The 2000 Sydney Olympics opening ceremony

It's inspiring to me to see so many resources put forth for an artistic event. To me, if so many people want to put so much effort into an art project, maybe the ideals of art aren't as pointless as they can sometimes seem in modern society. Also, the diversity of skills and personalities that are all working together makes me hopeful that people can work out their differences in other areas like politics and war. 

But it doesn't have to be an artistic event for me to get excited about it. As I mentioned above, sports inspire me, for the dedication, skill, and cooperation that is required to succeed. Space exploration also is something that gets my heart pounding. 

I hope all this is at least mildly interesting to y'all. I've included some pictures to break up the text a bit. 

Also I feel a little bad for reposting those pics of the show without the photographer's permission. I will hopefully get better quality versions from him, he's an excellent photographer.   

TTYL

Hey! Here's a little post updating my life, and a few thoughts.

Just finished opening weekend for Broadway Bound at Masquer's Playhouse in Point Richmond. It went really well, audiences seemed to like it a lot, and I'm having a lot of fun with it. The one thing that was weird/heart-stopping, was what happened opening night. Central to Act II is a radio show, which was previously recorded on a CD, and is played from speakers hidden in an old radio on the set. The CD started skipping just as the scene got rolling. The other actors and I were freaking out a little. Thanks to the fact that the audience had never seen it before, and they were already way into the story after having seen the first act, nobody seemed to notice. My character is really anxious about the radio show in the first place, so I just  worried more. It worked out just fine! :-)

Also, I improvised a little frustrated whack on the prop radio with my hand. I was a little worried that the director would be upset at me for improvising, but she was spending most of her energy pissed off at the CD skipping, which turned out to be because the CD player in the booth was rather old... My fellow actors thought it was pretty awesome that I hit the radio, and that made me feel great!!

There were some great photos taken at final dress that I'll get my hands on eventually, to share here.

So usually about the time I open one show, I'm doing auditions for the next. This time I have a different plan. Seeing as my savings will not last me forever, I'm going to make getting a paying job my top priority. That is, a better paying job than theater. I have been talking to some people who say now is a good time to look for work. I got job applications from Fry's Electronics and Pete's Coffee, and I'll also be considering internships, paid or unpaid, as my non-acting resume is rather sparse at this point.

Today was my first day of dance class at Diablo Valley College, the local junior college. I'm taking Beginning Tap, and Ballet Fundamentals, one right after the other on Tuesdays and Thurdays. This is something I've been meaning to do for a long time, so I'm pretty stoked! We just did introductions and talked about the syllabus today, we'll really start dancing on Thursday. I need to get some ballet shoes, and I'm also gonna need to ask Mom if she kept my dance belt and tights from way back when I took a few weeks of ballet class in high school. The ballet instructor was pretty intense about clothes, because ballet is a visual art, and if you can't see the lines your body is making, you can't tell if you're doing it right. So yeah. It's gonna be fun! I'm not a complete beginner, but I've never had formal ballet training, so this will be challenging, but hopefully not too hard.

Going to DVC was fun today, seeing all the young people, mostly. I don't always run into many people my age in theatre, but college of course is full of them. I saw many friends that I already knew from the community around here, and hopefully made some new ones... I can be a little shy with socializing, but I'm determined to put myself out there a little more, because I'm always happier when I do.

I also tried out for Fancy Dinosaurs, the second improv team in the Theatre Dept. there (the first being Dragon Viper Cobra, which I knew a few members of already, who also has won some competitions in the city). I think I did okay! It was fun anyways. I'll find out about that later.

So yeah. In other news, I've been watching Adventure Time, which I find very enjoyable despite it being a kids show. My friend Jamie is desperate to get me into Sherlock, but I haven't gotten around to it.

When Mom, Dad, and Steven visited last weekend, I used a gift certificate from Christmas to get new kicks! Check 'em out!

Went to a sushi bar in the city with my buddy Odie to watch the 49ers play the Saints for the NFC championship. Tried hot sake for the first time. It was tasty, but unfortunately followed by the bitter of defeat. But what the hell, it was a good game, especially since we hadn't had a playoff win since 2003. Even the Ferry Building was showing team spirit.

Last but not least, after almost a year of being stuck on World 8, I finally beat Super Mario Bros. Many an expletive were thrown at the hated Hammer Brothers, whose seemingly random movements and endless fusillades of smithing equipment vexed me to no end.

On a final note, I just read this article on io9, and found it very interesting.

PEACE
~Chris

I am writing this instead of doing the dishes.

But you know what, that's okay. Because I am okay with the fact that the sink is full of dishes. And in my personal journey, it's more of an accomplishment to not do the dishes, and feel okay about it, than it is to do the dishes.

Now I just need to do the dishes.

Rehearsal is going really well for Broadway Bound, (the play I'm in: info here ) and it's really exciting, because we're so far along in the process, and we haven't even opened the play yet! Often when I'm in a show, we get to the third weekend, and I feel like "Oh, that's how that's supposed to work! I wish I had known that sooner."  This time is different. It's a fun show too.

If you're in the area, and want to come to the show, let me know! Also, if you want to come FOR FREE, we need lots of people at previews this Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday (16th,17th, and 18th) so we can get used to having an audience laugh.

By the way, I never really told you how my time at home for Christmas went.

It was wonderful. I picked up my brother Steven from SFO, and we drove up 101 together, taking turns putting our iPods on the stereo to share music (I found out Steven likes to bump Jurassic 5). It's a really pretty drive. Daniel was there at home, Mom and Dad were really glad to see us, so was Violet (their kitty). Steven and I jammed on a little Paul Simon (I brought my bass guitar), Dad barbecued the turkey for Christmas dinner, it was delicious.

Steven and I even got to take a little walk up the redwoods in the drizzle. It was great. The woods up there are kind of my spiritual home. I love going up there.

When it came time to come back to the Bay, I was a little melancholy. In fact on the drive back, I felt really lonely. Then really angry. I don't know why I get so angry when I leave.

Anyways, that all passed, and I'm very pleased to be back here with all my friends. My new year's resolution is to put more into my friendships.

Here's a picture of the art that my parents gave me for Christmas:

by Elaine S. Benjamin, www.bluechairpress.com

Oh and here's the cool clock Steven gave me:

Hard Drive clock by John Berwick Gearomatic@aol.com (a classmate of Steven's) 

So yeah, that's how things are for now.

~Chris

"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, that are dreamt of in your Third-Quarter Revenue Projections."

Listening to the rebroadcast of "Forum" on KQED, they're talking about SOPA and PIPA, they have a guy from Google, and a guy from NBC Universal, and they're having a very good discussion. They're making me think harder about the issues, presenting it as a nuanced issue, and assuaging my outrage to a certain extent.

That's not to say I didn't do some yelling in the car at this vogon from Insanely Huge Media Conglomerate dodging questions. Yeah, yeah, I get his point that the online world should have theft laws, just like the physical world. But even so the idea of the federal government shutting down sites just sickens me. I liked it better when art hadn't been dismembered and maimed so it could fit into business models as "Intellectual Property."

I just want to point out that any debate is going to be biased, you can't avoid that. But even when it is biased, you can attempt to minimize the bias, and you can encourage thorough discussion. I haven't taken a course on debate, so I'm not sure of the theoretical basis for productive discussion. But I know it when I hear it.

Does anyone but me realize that discussing divisive issues can actually lead to a solution? That it's not just about getting one's point of view across? And certainly not just about getting higher Nielsen Ratings? Not only that, but the quality of public discussion will directly influence the quality of thinking that goes on about these issues. Better thinking means finding better solutions quicker. Who wouldn't want that?

News and radio and magazines need to make money, but I would greatly appreciate it if they would realize that there are higher needs than making money, and businesses that publish multimedia material are in the perfect position to influence things in a positive way. This won't necessarily make you money in the short run, but it will give you a legacy that will live beyond your product or company name. It's a tall order to have a profitable and "not evil" business, as Google can attest, but I wouldn't mind if a few more businesses actually aspired to that in more than just their mission statements.

It makes me want to start a non-profit that is specifically dedicated to productive public debate. It might prepare citizens better for town hall meetings and legislative hearings. In a democracy, if "the people" rule, then we also have the responsibility of rulers, to be more than just a member of a mindless horde, to see both sides of the issue, to be devoted to oneself, but also to consider things beyond.

Granted, it's hard enough to make a living these days without trying to consider things beyond one's own needs, but it's something that can be done, and every little bit helps. Organized religion has given "faith" a bad rap, but I think it can be applied without danger in this sense: to have faith that the good acts you do and the extra time and work you put in will benefit someone along the way, if you've thought it out right. You may not see these things happen right in front of you, but they will happen, and they'll happen even after you're gone.